Episode 39 - Align on the Why: Change Leadership as a Family Adventure Story with Katie and Billy Kim
Katie Kim, a marketing executive and former VP of Global Marketing at MillerKnoll, and Billy Kim, an independent investor, recently moved their family from New Jersey to Korea. They discuss the year-long project behind the move, the excuse test for separating real constraints from discomfort, and why a shared “why” matters more than a perfect plan.
Change Rarely Fails for Lack of a Plan
Katie and Billy Kim had what most people would call a settled life: two careers, two young daughters, a home in New Jersey, and extended family close by. A couple of months ago, they left it to live in Seoul for a year. Getting there took about a year of work, six trips to the South Korean consulate, and a citizenship complication that briefly raised the possibility of Billy being drafted into the Korean military.
Their story is about a family, but the pattern behind it is the one every leader faces during organizational change. The Kims got clear on what they were solving for, agreed on it together, and held that objective when the logistics turned against them. Teams that do the same tend to get through adversity. Teams that skip it tend to come apart the moment things stop going to plan.
Why did Katie first say no?
Billy first raised the idea of living abroad during the pandemic. Before then, he had been flying coast to coast every other week on a turnaround project, which wore him down physically and mentally. With everyone suddenly working from home, it looked like a rare window.
Katie dismissed it immediately. They had a one-year-old, she had just been through a health scare, and her career was taking off. Her objection was not to the idea itself but to the timing, which felt impossible.
The idea came back years later, and this time from Katie. Driving home from a charity event where young activists had described their work, she found herself wondering where she could find that kind of inspiration in her own life. The answer that surfaced was living abroad, and it arrived with a clarity she had not felt before. She came home and told Billy they had to try.
For leaders, the useful lesson is that a firm “no” often reflects circumstances rather than conviction. When circumstances change, the same person can become the strongest advocate.
What made the risk feel worth it?
Neither of them was trying to escape a life they disliked. For Billy, the pull went back to his older brother, who was adventurous, outgoing, and spent freely on experiences with people he loved. Early in Billy’s career, his brother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia and died a year later. Hundreds of people came to his funeral. Billy did not change overnight, but the loss reshaped how he thought about where to invest his life.
Katie had her own reminder. Shortly after their first daughter was born, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Surgery went well, and she has since passed the five-year mark, but the experience stayed with her. She is clear that the move was not about her health. The goal was simpler: an unforgettable adventure the family would look back on fondly.
How did Katie weigh the career cost?
The timing also collided with an opportunity at work. Katie was invited to apply for a more senior marketing role at MillerKnoll. Through the process, she realized she did not want a job that demanded more travel while her daughters were small. That decision clarified a lot, but it did not resolve her worry about stepping off a strong trajectory so early in her career.
What tipped her was hearing from a group of women she respected. Every one of them told her to go and not to worry about her career. That outside perspective gave her the confidence to commit.
What happens when the process nearly derails everything?
The Kims expected the international school to be the hardest part, since waitlists are long. They got in. The real obstacle turned out to be Billy’s visa.
They had planned on a heritage visa available to people of Korean descent. At the consulate, they learned that because Billy’s father was a Korean citizen when Billy was born, Korean law considered Billy a Korean citizen as well, regardless of where he was born. Men under 40 in that situation who stay in Korea for more than 90 days can be drafted. Billy had just turned 40, which removed the draft risk, but he still had to obtain Korean citizenship and a Korean passport while simultaneously starting the 18-month process of renouncing it. Their daughters, it turned out, were Korean citizens too.
Each consulate visit brought new requirements, from original birth certificates to marriage records mapping every family relationship. By the sixth trip, the staff recognized them.
Is it a real constraint, or just discomfort?
Katie’s turning point came from a question she would ask at work. If the only reasons not to go were fear or not wanting to put in the effort, those were poor excuses. She would never accept them in her job, so she would not accept them here.
That is the excuse test. When a change stalls, ask what is actually in the way. Some obstacles are true constraints, like a visa requirement. Others are discomfort. They need different responses: solve the constraint, and name the discomfort so it stops making decisions in the background. The Kims could not control the citizenship rules, but they could control the paperwork and the consulate visits, so that is where they put their energy.
What should a team agree on before it starts?
Before they booked a flight, the Kims agreed on three things. The what was moving to Korea for a year. The why was a memorable adventure as a family. The how was dividing the work early, with each of them owning separate pieces, since both were working full time.
Most teams stop at the what. They align on the goal and assume the reasons and the approach will sort themselves out. That gap stays hidden until pressure arrives, and then it surfaces as conflict.
Why does the “why” matter more than the plan?
The Kims still had their arguments on hard days. What kept those from becoming bigger problems was that they were in it for the same reason. Billy points to trust, persistence, and at least one patient person as the other ingredients, but he is clear that a shared purpose made the difference. Moving somewhere just to say you did it, he says, would not be enough to carry anyone through obstacles like theirs.
Two months in, they are still sorting out furniture, a cell phone number, and a credit card. Their older daughter, meanwhile, has already found her footing at her new school. The plan keeps changing. The reason has not.
What to do this week
– Run the excuse test. When a change stalls, ask what is really in the way. If it is a true logistical constraint, solve it. If it is discomfort, name it.
– Agree on the what, the why, and the how. Most teams stop at the goal and never align on the reason or the approach, which sets up conflict later.
– Divide early and own your lane. Name owners quickly, give them clear authority, and treat the change like a real project.
– Share it with one person. Pick someone on your team who needs to hear this episode, send it to them, and talk it through together.
Related Episodes
– Episode 37 - The Points Guy, Brian Kelly: You’ve Done Enough Research, Now Make the Decision
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